The Myth of the Instant Bond

There is a show on Tru TV, also available on Hulu and some other places of course, called Adam Ruins Everything. I love the show! It is a comedian who basically aims to debunk common misconceptions in society with facts and sources galore. So, you can guess when he did an episode called “Adam Ruins Having a Baby”, where he addressed things like having a baby over 35, formula vs break milk and postpartum depression, I was all ears, especially since it was nice to see these subjects dealt with using a little humor, the way I try to address them personally. I cannot find a free version of the episode online, but I have linked some free clips below, as well as the full episode for purchase if you do not already have free access elsewhere and want to watch. The episode had such an impact on me that I mentioned it in my book.

One thing mentioned that really resonated with me is that we know the average life expectancy was way lower not so long ago. This was mainly because of so many babies dying. Most people did not die at age 35, but the average age was drug down to 35 by so many babies and young people dying. Vaccines and other medical advances, including baby formula as mentioned in the show, eventually changed this, but it used to happen so often that parents often did not name the baby the first year in case they baby did not make it. Being a comedy show, at one point a woman is shown casually looking at her baby for the first time saying, “Nice to meet you number 4.” This part of the episode was in the postpartum depression section, because women often beat themselves up if they do not feel an instant bond with their child. The instant bond idea is a newer idea. While I do like that we are trying to bond with our children earlier, even in cases where we might or for sure will lose them to miscarriage, stillbirth or death in babyhood or childhood, as painful as it can be, this just proves that this idea that most mothers and their children always magically bond instantly has always been a myth.

Adam Ruins Everything – Why Baby Formula Isn’t Poison | truTV – YouTube

Adam Ruins Everything – You Can Still Have Babies After 35 | truTV – YouTube

Adam Ruins Having a Baby – YouTube

Bio: Amanda Dodson Gremillion published her first book in 2012. She began revising it in 2019 and republished it as Just Buy Her A Dress and She’ll Be Fine. The story chronicles her experience with severe postpartum OCD, anxiety and depression. Amanda is a graduate of Auburn University, and now lives in Calera, Alabama, with her husband, Jay, their daughter, Aubrie, and their two dogs, Honey Girl and Cooper. She hopes to write more books in the future. Follow Amanda’s journey on Facebook,  or twitter at and order her book here.  Also, follow her on the Mighty here Amanda Dodson Gremillion | The Mighty Contributor or listen to her podcast here Just Buy Her A Dress and She’ll Be Fine • A podcast on Anchor . You can also find her on Instagram here Amanda Dodson Gremillion (@justbuyheradress) • Instagram photos and videos.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s