The Royal Family, Mental Health & Breaking Generational Curses

Prince Philip just passed away, and I feel a little sadder about it then I probably would have before after watching the show, the Crown not too long ago. I realize some of the show may not be accurate, but a lot of it is straight from the news and real life. As I watched the show, I would google to see if certain parts were true and learned a lot in the process. I always adored Princess Diana, but was never one of those obsessed with the royal family in general. The parts of the show I found the most interesting were things I never cared about or knew about before, for instance, the parts about Queen Elizabeth in her younger days. It was also interesting to see the Diana and Charles story through adult eyes for the first time as opposed to when I was younger and it was all happening. Charles and Diana married right before I was born and they divorced when I was 10, so I first saw it all happen through the eyes of child while listening to the opinion of the media and those around me.

I always knew that Diana was different to many from the rest of the royal family. She seemed friendlier, less stuffy, less private, but there are differences like this in everyday families that are not royalty. In the show, seeing a younger version of Elizabeth and Philip, I could relate to them more than ever before, in some ways. The relationship between Elizabeth and her sister Margaret is a lot like mine with my own sister. Elizabeth marries for love, yet her and Philip both later stop her son from doing the same and before that Elizabeth even stopped her own sister from doing so. Although in the latter case, she did not want to and felt bad about it, but had other choices and did not make them. Her sister also could have given up her princess title to marry the divorced man she loved though and chose not to. The royal family has previously tried to do the same to Elizabeth’s Uncle, which is why Elizabeth even became queen in the first place. I never knew this, but her father only became King because his brother wanted to marry a woman who had been divorced before and he gave up being King to do so. We all know how much hurt and pain was caused to so many before Charles eventually ended up marrying the woman he loved anyways, many years later. Trying to stop it only hurt him, Diana, their children, and his future wife, while also making her and Charles both into villians. I have to admit I always thought of both of them as such when younger, but now of course I know it was much more complex than that.

Everyone in the family made poor choices at different points, but one thing that really stuck out to me, was that no matter how much love Diana tried to offer them, no matter how hard she tried to earn the kind of love she wanted from them, they could not give it. I do not even think they would not, I honestly think they could not. They loved their children and she loved her children, but not in the same way. They had nannies mainly care for theirs, they were not as close to them, they were not as connected, they barely did things, like give hugs and the way those outside the family viewed them was very important. It was not to be an honest view, it was to be how they wanted to be viewed. There are people in my family like this, minus the nannies due to income alone, but they are like this because at some point, someone who, like me personally, likes to try and deeply connect with everyone they meet who is willing, but especially their own children, married someone who was almost the exact opposite. That marriage did not last either. Due to this, I now have family members I try to connect in the same way with, but probably never will be able to. I know this because they do not even have that connection with their children, yet it still hurts me, like it somehow makes me feel unworthy of their love, when deep down I know that is not really the case, but I understand why Diana often took it personally and it hurt her. It also resulted in her poor mental health at times.

I have often felt like the outcast with people like this and I would say that maybe they feel the same among people like me, but they never seem to act like that. Their behavior often seems to come with a feeling of superiority, like you should be ashamed for not feeling the same way and that there must be something wrong with you for needing the kind of love they cannot offer you. Maybe they have just never had it themselves. While a lot of us try to break generational curses or societal norms we see as damaging to us or our children, I think there are only so many we can break in one generation. It takes many generations to break some, because it took many more to start them in the first place. Queen Elizabeth broke some by marrying who she wanted, by marrying someone of lower status and by becoming a prominent woman leader even officially over her own husband. Prince Philip even broke them by choosing to marry her when he had a lower status than her, as you can see in the show and can imagine in real life had to be very hard at times.

We can definitely see that Diana broke some just by looking at who both her sons married and the relationships with their children. They both married for love and seemed to be pretty involved with their children. However, you can still see major differences in Prince William and Harry and you can still Charles often act like or side with the family members who did so much to hurt him and his children and future wives. The way Harry’s wife was treated when being open about mental health issues reminds me some of Diana’s treatment, minus one big change. Her husband was supportive and that made a world of difference for her compared to Diana. Based on the media, it seems like Harry might be breaking more generational norms than anyone in the royal family and is getting hated on by many for it, although Prince William and Charles seem to also get some hate by the other half for not breaking enough of them. Who knows what all is really going on behind closed doors, but based on what I see go on in my own family sometimes, I believe some of what is in the news and was in the show, the Crown.

Bio: Amanda Dodson Gremillion published her first book in 2012. She began revising it in 2019 and republished it as Just Buy Her A Dress and She’ll Be Fine. The story chronicles her experience with severe postpartum OCD, anxiety and depression. Amanda is a graduate of Auburn University, and now lives in Calera, Alabama, with her husband, Jay, their daughter, Aubrie, and their two dogs, Honey Girl and Cooper. She hopes to write more books in the future. Follow Amanda’s journey on Facebook,  or twitter at https://twitter.com/AmandaGremilli2 and order her book here.  Also, follow her on the Mighty here Amanda Dodson Gremillion | The Mighty Contributor or listen to her podcast here Just Buy Her A Dress and She’ll Be Fine • A podcast on Anchor . You can also find her on Instagram here Amanda Dodson Gremillion (@justbuyheradress) • Instagram photos and videos.

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